Trueman

We have an official new member of the family. His name is Trueman. This is not to be confused with Truman. Upon his arrival to his new home, we immediately took him to get all of the necessities, including a brand spankin’ new collar. I decided that Tom could be in charge of getting the collar inscribed while I did a little of the shopping. Turns out that Tom’s spelling abilities didn’t leave our dog unaffected. Upon realizing his mistake, Tom wanted to say that his name should still be Truman except for his collar, but I insisted. An unordinary (notice how I did NOT use the word extraordinary) dog such as Trueman deserves an equally silly twist to his name. So why is this dog unordinary might you ask? Well, let’s go through the facts:

Trueman has two moods, nay, identities. One second, he is asleep, such as so,

and is unable to be disturbed or made upset. Apathetic is a good word. In these states, all he wants to do is lie in your lap or sleep on a comfortable blanket. He’s not necessarily happy, but merely appears satisfied. Then, without notice, he will turn into what we have termed ‘the beast.’

All energy is released in tumbles and snarls as he decides that everything around him that isn’t supposed to be bitten will be bitten. To demonstrate the extent of the problem, observe Bitter Yuck.

The supposed miracle-worker for biting problems. This rosemary-based spray-on product is supposed to deter any animal from biting something merely because of its bitter taste. Not only did Trueman not respond negatively our newest form of hand soap (Note: this is not the intended use of bitter yuck. It is meant mainly for furniture, but we figured our hands needed the protection the most), he rather liked the stuff! If we had poured the bottle into his water bowl, he would have lapped it up. He licked it off our hands and the dispenser hose with satisfaction! The only individuals negatively affected by this product were Tom and I, due to the vapors that went into our noses and mouths, forcing us to have a bitter taste in our mouths all through dinner. I must say, though, that it wasn’t all bad because this then gave us an excuse to go “wash our mouths out” with frozen custard. Back to Trueman the Monster. Despite all of his energy during his “monster” phases, he refuses to get any exercise unless it involves biting something. When he gets into these moods, we try to take him on walks. Does he walk? Of course not. He flops over on his side and then proceeds to allow us to drag him wherever it is we deem necessary.

Remember how I said that he likes to eat/bite everything that he is not supposed to eat/bite? This fact includes the tidbit that he isn’t even inspired to bite the things he is supposed to bite. He is entertained by his chew toys for seconds, at best, and his treats don’t even appeal to him when compared to any other trash that can be found on the ground. For example, let’s consider our Saturday afternoon trip to the park. It was a breezy day, perfect for kite flying so the whole gang (Myself, Tom, and the docile monster) headed off for Fleming Park to play and eat lunch. The car is a magical place because it almost always turns Truman into his Dr. Jekyll identity. Something about the rhythm of the car lulls him into a calm, sleepy mood (or perhaps he gets car sick). This does not mean in any way that the lethargy continues past the second we get out of the car; but his docile car mood is still nice for however long we get a break. Once arriving at the park, we first ate some lunch. Truman, not being satisfied with his doggy bacon bit treats, was convinced that our sandwiches looked better. Returning to his Mr. Hyde persona, he was convinced that he was big enough and tough enough to defeat us in battle in order to obtain the magnificent sandwiches. Apparently we still have yet to establish who the Alpha Male in the family is. I don’t view this as our fault, considering we have a dog that thinks he is not only the Alpha, but is also the Omega.

We then decided to try to fly the kite. We thought that we could get Trueman to play by dangling the kite’s tail in front of him, in hopes that he we would chase it. Too much work. The left-over poo on the ground from a prior canine park visitor was clearly much more aromatically enticing and easily accessible. Then, knowing that the one thing we can use to sway him in our favor is treats, we cleverly tied a delicious snack to the tale of the kite. Still too much work. He would chase it for like a second when we would dangle it tantalizingly in his face, but as soon as it was over 12 inches away from his nose, he was on to something else. Not even food can persuade this dog to play.

All in all, no matter where he is, most of the time his greatest pleasure is found in curling up in my or Tom’s lap and snuggling. When there are thunder storms, there is nowhere else he’d rather be than in my arms being held like a baby. It’s times like these when I realize just how much love he has to offer and I melt….until a minute later when he whizzes all over the carpet.